An Open Letter To My Husband On Our 10 Year Anniversary

Can you picture us there, my love?

10 years ago today.

We were just kids, sitting in that movie theater.
I was 15, and I thought that this long haired boy with a car and a tan was the greatest thing I would ever lay my eyes on.

I was wrong.

Only because - I did not know then, the man I would later see him become as we grew together.

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You made two wrong turns on the way to the theater that night.
The theater you had driven to a thousand times.
I guess that is the kind of nerves that hit a kid,
driving his future wife to their very first date.


Who knew.


Looking back on those kids now, today, its hard to believe that was us.


When our biggest worry was if the teacher would see us texting each other under our desks at school and take our phones away..
Or if your parents would figure out the real reason our car battery had died in that parking lot...


We made mistakes. We had adventures. And we watched, day by day, as it become more and more clear to us that this was forever.


I remember, so vividly, the moment of sitting together on my parents couch, in their living room - just 6 months in to this journey. At 16 years old I looked at you with excitement and fear as we talked about this course our lives were on.

As we told each other that we both knew with absolute certainty that this was it.

There was no more searching or dating that needed to be done.

We knew forever was me and you.

And as we made that realization, we asked each other flat out - are you sure?

We are still so young.

This means we will never be with anyone else, but each other, for our whole lives - if we keep this course.

Are we sure?

Completely.


And in that moment, I think I understood for the very first time the full extent of what love is.

That love is so much more than just a feeling.
That love is every bit a choice.

Love, is the decision to wake up each day and to say hey -
I know that continuing this course with you means bills, and moves, and changes, and struggles, and joys, and obstacles, and life.

Continuing with you - means tackling it all together - and I choose it.

It means that whatever the cost may be, that I decide each day that paying it with you is better than any other alternative.

You, are better than any other alternative.

Because ultimately, marital love was designed to reflect our Savior.
It's purpose, to provide the smallest possible picture of His love for us.
That He has chosen to want each of us, no matter the cost.
That He has decided that even in our flaws and brokenness, that relationship with his beloved, his bride, is better than any other alternative.


I want you to know, without question, the incredible leader that you are in this journey together.


As we pass through the highs and the lows, the picture that you paint for me of the way Christ loves His church is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for that.

Thank you for following His call when we heard Him say "Go", and as He led us into your career, and these moves, and different states, and new friends.
Thank you for figuring out finances with me, even when its tight, and for constantly using that to remind me of priorities.
Thank you for walking with me through the heartache of infertility, and reminding me in the midst of it that you still want me, even when I feel unworthy.
Thank you for making me laugh in the hard times, when all I have wanted to do is cry.
Thank you for wrapping me in your strong arms and pulling me close and allowing me to feel so secure.
Thank you for constantly being an example to me of putting others first and caring for their needs above my own.


But most of all, thank you, for pointing me to our Savior.


Thank you for praying for me.
Thank you for the moments when I couldn't quite feel Him,
and you held me and told me it was okay.

And you waited patiently for me to once again see His hand in our crazy lives.

There was a moment, a couple of months ago, when you told me that you had heard it said,
the greatest honor in life, is to take care of someone who once took care of you.

This life with you is an honor, Brandon.

One where we are constantly taking care of each other through the inexplicable highs and lows, all the while, being more ultimately taken care of by a beautifully good God.

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I love our journey.
I love our story.
I love every part of the past 10 years that has brought us from
those kids we once were, to these lovers we currently are.

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I have a phrase, as you know, that I say to you frequently;
I marry you everyday.

In the craziness of life, it is natural for romance to get lost.
It is easy for priorities to become shifted.
It is simple to forget the kids we once were,
the God who has led us and grown us,
and to instead focus on the events of now.

But I want you to know that I will always be that girl,
looking at my boy,
and seeing the greatest thing I could ever lay my eyes on.

I want you to know that I will always be your bride,
standing beside you,
and pledging my love and my faithfulness to you.

I want you to know that each day,
as we wake up, and life is so much the same,
but also so different,
I am daily choosing this committed love that we have so intentionally and so divinely built together.



I marry you, everyday.



I love you, Brandon.
I am crazy about you, 10 years in, more than ever.
I still get butterflies waiting for you to come home.
I still get a thrill from your embrace.
I still crave your kisses.
I still get excited by your touch.

10 years in, I admire you, I respect you, I want you, I enjoy you, 



I marry you, everyday.



Happy 10, my love.
Here's to the rest of our lives.
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