The Christmas Story & Life Interrupted

Christmas night and I'm reflecting on the concept of intentional worship;
of how birth of Jesus was the birth of redemption, healing, and transformation in my life.

The birth of Jesus was the birth of the price that God would pay to save our souls and call us His forever.

And somehow, it seems that those truths - things that should shake us to the core when we really get it - instead often become a casual knowledge in the back of our minds; instead of a deeply moving realization that we pause and take in deep into our bones.

Looking at Him, really BEHOLDING Him, in any and all circumstances should move us to a place of worship.

It's more than a holiday season or an observance of a birth - but rather a chance to sit with the situation that an almighty God choose in His great mercy to orchestrate this birth that would ultimately lead to what we would not otherwise have. Salvation and hope eternal through His death and resurrection.

But we gloss over these words. We take it as repetition and we no longer allow it to make us stop in our tracks. There's nothing casual about being divinely pursued by a God who is so high above us; yet became God with us.

So, this day and this season - this concept deserves intentionality - a spirit of worship that leaks into our everyday forever.

I want the truth of His pursuit of me to permeate every single piece of my life and for worship to become reflex;
for the lens I look through to become Gospel;
and for His glory to be observed and magnified in both the mundane and the major.

There's a lot of places this could start, I have many opportunities for growth in worship - but as I read the Christmas story there's always once specific section/topic that stands out to me...


So, let's start with this -

How many of us know that change can be painful? Right?

Most of us don’t naturally like interruptions to our normal.

Most of us like to find what’s comfortable, and then stay there.

But also how many of us know that comfort is oftentimes the enemy to growth and to new life? 

Comfort can frequently keep us from moving forward into good things.

I am unbelievably thankful tonight that we serve a God who not only knows what we need, but so deeply desires to birth good things to life in us... that He isn’t hesitant to bring some interruptions to what we find to be normal and comfortable.

What is He interrupting for you right now? And what’s being brought to life through that? There’s purpose; likely far beyond what you can imagine.

Let’s look at scripture.

Seriously - you can break out your Bible alongside me - or I'll just paste the text here to follow along through

Luke, chapter 1, starting in verse 26 says:

In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth

So, here’s the first thing I want to point to right away. This whole interaction that is about to take place... it isn’t by chance. It isn’t happenstance. It doesn’t say that Gabriel, this angel, was just randomly hanging out in Nazareth.

No - He was sent there.

Sent. An action, taken by God. God was intentional by choosing to send His angel Gabriel to Nazareth; and He did so with purpose.

He sent Him because He was setting the stage for an interruption to a whole lot of ordinary. 

By the worlds standards, the characters about to enter the picture are incredibly normal.

A normal girl, betrothed to a normal guy. Betrothal was also normal then. There were three stages to marriage - engagement, which was an agreement between fathers, and then betrothal which was a commitment ceremony that took place about a year before you were actually married.

That’s were these normal folks were at in their journey. And in this season of their normal, comfortable lives - God looks on them and INTENTIONALLY CHOOSES THEM to be interrupted. He send Gabriel,

so then vs 27-28

to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you.”

Before a word was ever spoken to Mary, God had already took action in choosing her and setting the stage.

And one truth that we need to know tonight is that when God comes in to your normal, your ordinary, your comfortable places- and he begins to speak interruption to that...He doesn’t do so randomly or without care or thought; everything our God does is by intention AND with a far reaching plan for our good and for His glory.

Mary was about to be a part of a plan that God had set in motion for the redemption of the entire world, the birth of a savior, the son of God, that would die for their sins and defeat death and raise to life - but in this exact moment, with just these few words - so far all she knows is interruption and it causes her fear.

So far, she doesn’t know His plan or His end game or what exactly is happening - she just knows that some sort of big moment is taking place that is interrupting the normalcy that she has known and vs 29 says her reaction:

But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be.

The word there that my bible is translating to “deeply troubled” - the original Greek is pronouced like
"dee-at-ar-as'-so"

And the definition of that word literally translates to mean:

To agitate and distress greatly

Another explanation of the word that I found described it as this:

intensely going back-and-forth (to-and-fro) between inner thoughts and emotions

How many of us have experienced a moment where God steps in to the normal of our lives.

Whatever it is that has been SO comfortable for SO long, and He intentionally moves in your direction.

There’s something that happens within your life and you just know and sense the interruption - and even before you have opened your mouth and responded; long before you’ve moved in obedience - your reaction is that of Mary.

dee-at-ar-as'-so

To agitate and distress greatly;

intensely going back-and-forth (to-and-fro) between inner thoughts and emotions

I think oftentimes in our humanity this is our knee jerk reaction because we like to know the outcome.

We like to know
the end result
and what exactly God is planning
and why He is stepping in
and what changes He is going to make
and how it is going to feel
and every. last. detail. of the process. 

Even Mary here it says had this emotional response as she was “wondering what kind of greeting this could be”

Wondering, right?

Isn’t that our response to God’s interruptions?

Wondering. 

If we are good enough.

Wondering.

If He knows who He is talking to.

Wondering. 

Just how much it will cost us.

Wondering.

If it’s worth it.

Wondering.

If He really is good.

Wondering.

If He loves us like He says he does

All of this... even as we are wondering

What kind of call we are receiving.

I read a statement in a devotion once that said this - it said:

Understanding can wait, obedience cannot.

Guys, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for my heart to grasp... but the truth of the matter is that in this moment- as Gabriel shows up to Mary, and as God takes intentional action to choose her and send His Word and guidance to her -

She does not need Him to lay out every detail of what’s unfolding.

He is about to speak SOME amount of clarity - just what she needs in this moment.

He’s good like that. Only giving us what we need for this moment.

And she has the prophecies that have been written before this that point to what will happen - it’s been laid out throughout Isaiah and she likely knows scripture and so she has instruction for the moment through God’s voice and she has instruction for the future through scripture -

but what we don’t see happen is,

Mary does not need to have every answer provided to her here. We don’t see this conversation unfold as 

“Hey Mary - you’re going to be pregnant miraculously and give birth to the son of God and He will save His people from their sins

AND the reason I did this is because XYZ and I chose you because XYZ and let me just lay out what His 33 years of life will look like"

We don’t see God provide Mary here with details of the ups and downs that her parenting journey will include.


We don’t see Him shed light on every miracle Jesus will preform, or the details of how His ministry will work, or how gruesome and terrible His death will be, or the fullness of His victory over sin and shame for all eternity.

Mary doesn’t get to hear the individual pieces of just how deep the pain will be, how beautiful the joy will be, she doesn’t know the specific people who will be effected or how widespread and far reaching the purpose will go thousands of years and beyond

Cause God’s understanding of this is eternal and hers was not

God’s understanding of His interruption in your life is eternal, and yours is not ...

That’s ridiculous. The Lord knew exactly what she NEEDED to know in that moment.
Just as He acts with purpose, He also speaks with purpose.
He never reveals too much or too little.

You do not need to know every single detail of what following Him will look like, what it will feel like, what the cost will be, or what the rewards will be.

All you need to know is that He has chosen you, intentionally, with purpose, to take action in sending His work and His Word into your life - to interrupt for His eternal understanding and glory -


and the power in that is NOT found in whether you get it,
the power is found in the fact that because of that - you get HIM.

So Mary experiences interruption - she wonders what’s going on - she’s fluctuating in emotion -

Whew - vs 29 was loaded. 

And then vs 30 comes and we hear the response to all of it - the answer to our dee-at-ar-as'-so

And it’s this:

Then the angel told her: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.

You, have found favor with God.

The response to our emotion will frequently not be a laid out outline of God’s reasons and explanations;
but rather the response to our emotion will always be a reminder of who we are in Him.

Chosen. Loved. Found favor.

You don’t have to experience the back and forth pull; you’ve found favor.
And THAT is why you can rest.
Not because you have all the answers, but because He does - and you know He is FOR YOU.

And then He gives her the first part of the details to this interruption that have been chosen to be revealed to her(vs 31-33)


Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of his father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.”

And it's here in this moment that we experience a shift in reaction to the interruption. 

It hasn’t gotten any less scary. If anything it has become higher stakes because she betrothed and in this culture if she is found to be unfaithful she can be stoned to death.

But now she operating in her identity as a woman who has found favor with God. So rather than reacting in heightened fear to the heightened stakes - she responds to this interruption with a plead for confirmation.

Like we said - Mary likely was familiar with scripture and knew the prophecies that had been spoken about the coming savior. So some of this was likely familiar, if not still way weird to her.

But instead of pleading against God’s plan to bring miracle from her obedience;

She now knows that fear is unnecessary because The Lords favor is with her,
so she moves from a response of fear to a pleas for confirmation.

This is big. Her life has been casual, comfortable - this instruction is not.

So she asks a question; but in contrast to questions we see asked throughout scripture that are filled with accusations about God’s choice being wrong or His plan being impossible-

Mary’s questions are laced far more with wonder than with fear.

How often do we let the interruptions of God in our lives move us to wonder?
Sheer awe?
How often do we sit back at the things He interiors our normal with and say; wow God, you’re right -
I have your favor. You love me. You’ve chosen me. I get that.
So, this is what you say you’re going to do ... I don’t know the details but just...whoa.
How are you going to do this?


I can almost feel her on the edge of her seat waiting for the explanation of just how cool God’s work will be.

I've experiences enough of these moments now, that the Spirit has started a process of training my heart to respond this way.
But it wasn't always my response to interruption. It’s still not always. Far from it.

I’m much more prone to dee-at-ar-as'-so,

than i am to wonder

But I've watched Him interrupt places of brokenness in my life to reach in and bring His purpose.

I watched Him interrupt Brandon and I’s comfortable marriage in Florida to bring us to the military which caused a wholeeeee chain reaction of purpose and goodness and interruption...

Which then bled into seasons of infertility and of ministry and then of a miracle child being created and sustained within me ...
and I’ve experienced my fair share of opportunities to be like...

“Okay God...lets hear it...how you gonna do this one??”

I'm starting to see His pattern. I want to know it even more.

The angel continues to explain:

Vs 35-37:


The angel replied to her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. And consider your relative Elizabeth—even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.”

His explanation of the hows and the whys is the same as it is all throughout scripture.


The Lord is with you. His power is for you. His Spirit is at work within you. Nothing is impossible for Him.

That was the answer for Moses, for Jeremiah, for Gideon, for the disciples, for Mary - and it’s the answer for us.

Intentional interruption - born out of deep care for our souls and eternal understanding of all the pieces -
and how is any of it possible? Because God is for you, not against you.

Because He desires to interrupt your comfortable sin and bring new life and a call to follow Him

Because He desires to interrupt your comfortable season and bring growth and transformation

Because He desires to interrupt your comfortable faith and use you to bring others to know Him more

Because He desires to interrupt your comfortable; and bring you to unbelievable. To beautiful. To more.

You may not understand it; but you should follow, in wonder, because our following leads to a place where we watch His miracle be birthed in our lives - and it changes everything. 

For Mary, after this interaction now of intentional interruption, reminded favor, engaged wonder, and explained power - the only reaction left; is praise.

We are in this very cycle, many of us, right now.

Your God is interrupting the normal, comfortable-yet-broken pieces of your life and coming in to say hey - there’s something I want to birth in you.

And it may not feel good, and people may not understand it, I may not give you all the details - but it’s from me and I love you and I want the best for you so trust me - come with me on this journey.

And we have gone through the fear response: for many of us that’s where we stay.
Or, we let it push us down a whole opposite path -
but tonight I want to invite us to respond with Mary and let our hearts pray echo that of hers;
of praise after this interruption takes place.


In verse 47 she prays;

My soul praises the greatness of the Lord,
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 because he has looked with favor
on the humble condition of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations
will call me blessed,
49 because the Mighty One
has done great things for me,
and his name is holy.
50 His mercy is from generation to generation
on those who fear him.

51 

Because Jesus was born to die, we can have His purpose born in us.

We can let our old selves die with Him, and cling to what He wants to birth in us.

And we can trust that even in the ache of interruption - that He is working for our good.

And we can respond in wonder and in praise.

Don't take that for granted.

Let Christmas move you to worship.

My God Still Heals

I want to start off with some super vulnerable, real talk tonight - if that’s cool.

I’m 100% here for the authentic sharing of inevitable and uncomfortable pieces of life we all navigate.

It’s important to me basically always, but especially in this post.

Partly because I feel it’s crucial for understanding the context of where the Lord is leading this topic from here; and I want you to understand my journey in it...

...and partly because, as weird and unflattering as it feels to air my brokenness to the world, I believe that others benefit most when we share truth about ourselves in combination with greater and more stable truth about God -

and through that, everyone knows that they aren’t alone in their own inner battles;

and wide spread awareness of God’s magnitude and glory then replaces isolated feelings of dissatisfaction in ourselves.

I believe there are many out there in need of healing (spiritual, mental, emotional, etc), who need to hear today that they aren’t the only ones - and that God is still in the business of life and life abundant.

With that said, I have been in all those stages of need. In various different ways throughout my lifetime; and with more examples than we have time to list here - but the biggest bullet points for each being;

I was in need of spiritual healing in my teen years as I wandered in sin and pride and anger and resentment and apathy; and I encountered God in the thick of it all and He extended salvation to me and healed my soul in ways I couldn’t have imagined. (Full testimony is another post, for another time)

I was in need of medical healing when for five years my body appeared incapable of becoming pregnant, of carrying life, and of preforming the tasks that seemed so normal to 90% of the women around me. God spoke promise for all those years that healing was coming and that I would be pregnant and we would have children - and in April 2019, I became pregnant and my body has been sustained by His Spirit through the process that should have been impossible. (For full story there, see a few posts back “God of the impossible; God of the PROMISE)

But throughout the years, and now more than ever before, I have been in desperate need of a work from His healing hand within my mind as well. 

You see, for all my life I have battled with anxiety. For much of it, this has been coupled with intrusive thoughts that don’t make sense, but that grip my heart as though they are reality and have a “sticky” effect in my brain.

Things that I feel have to be done, or cannot be done, in order for life to be okay; an inability to process and let go of thoughts in the “normal” and usual way; and a deep sense of alarm that sends panic signals through my body without any seeming understanding of when/why/how.

As the years progressed, these things only made themselves more evident - appearing during the more stressful seasons of my life in bigger ways, and then usually settling back down into what felt “manageable” by my own strength.

But in 2015, I had a severe attack of the worst combination of it all - I felt completely broken, lost, confused... like I was living in a clouded reality; and I ended up being officially and clinically diagnosed with both general anxiety disorder, as well as obsessive compulsive disorder.

I was given some medication and some tips and tricks to get it back under “control”, and then sent on my way.

After about 9 months, through much prayer and pursuit of God in it all, the Lord told me to get off the medication (not that there’s anything wrong with medication, when it is an ordained tool from the hands of God I know and have seen it be powerful and good; but in my case He directed it to stop), and He promised to sustain me... and - at that very time, 3 years ago - He said I needed to be off of it when I got pregnant.

In my limited human understanding, I took that to mean that I would be pregnant ‘soon’ and He didn’t want the medication physically interfering.

Turns out, His purpose was much deeper (and much further away) than my small self could comprehend.

For the next 3 years, He upheld His promise (as He always does). I was sustained, my anxiety and OCD well managed and held within His perfect hands. I lived out the mission He had set before me for that time, waited on the coming promise of pregnancy, and came before Him with the small moments of attack that I would occasionally face.

Then, in April 2019, I became pregnant. I was experiencing physical healing and absolute miracle provision happening in me. I was celebrating what He had chosen to do to that point; but sensed that He had much more to do and undo as I navigated the season of waiting.

Not long after becoming pregnant; the Lord told me to step down from my role in leading the most incredible student ministry, to instead focus on where He was taking me next - fulfillment of promise, motherhood, an eventual move to Florida, and taking advantage of my season in order to sit with Him in the breaking of the chains of anxiety and OCD that had been weighing on me for so long.

To my heart and mind, Florida was the first main directive to tackle - even though we had been given no definitive timeline, only that we were to go back. I believed we could focus on getting there first, and then tackle all the rest with Him.

However, as we began pursuing an understanding of how the timing of that journey would unfold through the direction of His Spirit - He made it clear that wasn’t His main mission.

Florida was down the road; but other initiatives were right now.

So, we resolved to wait on His timing for the move - and instead tackle whatever He said was for “right now”.

Over the course of the months, the symptoms of anxiety and OCD that I had been previously familiar with grew exponentially.

They became bigger and bigger to the point where eventually they were a crippling factor of my every day - but still I tried to “press on”.

I believed I could manage it on my own, use some of my past tips and tricks, and get through it okay...

No such luck.

If you’ve never struggled with mental illness before, it’s truly hard to explain what it feels like when the chemicals within your brain are imbalanced and out of whack and being used by the enemy to make deception feel like reality; but I’ll try to paint a picture for you.

During this pregnancy, the primary focus of the ailment has been centered on the fear of loss; the crippling feeling that this pregnancy would end in tragedy.

In the peak of my struggle, it has been bad enough to where it was an all day, everyday battle.

There was a constant and underlying feeling of terror and doom that sparked panic attacks and feelings of depression.

But there was this terrible extra side component to it of OCD that caused me to live out that anxiety in the most ridiculous ways. 

Many people, mistakenly, believe that OCD has to do with organization.

When in actuality it’s much more based on fearful repetition.

It’s clinically described as “a common, chronic, and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts and/or behaviors that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.”

Repetitive thoughts of loss and fear of the accompanying suffering were constant in their attack on my mind.

Sometimes, my OCD would say that I couldn’t do/say/wear/hear/eat/participate with certain things or else that would be the end of everything. And I would literally feel the loss in my bones.

Other times, it was that I HAD to do/say/wear/hear/eat/participate with certain things in order to avoid that loss.

When I would tell myself that wasn’t reality, it would spark an internal battle of truth trying to break through; but LOUD anxiety shouting back against it. And rationalization would spiral into anxious circles of thought that left me feeling like someone I didn’t even recognize.

It was a daily fight happening constantly inside of me, and I cannot describe the level of exhaustion that comes with that kind of internal chaos within.

I knew truth, but I couldn’t focus on it. I would sit with the Lord in deep stillness, and yet walk away only to dive back into fear. I wanted to think/feel based on what I knew - but would be consistently pulled back into a focus of what I don’t know.

But all the while, I was held. All the while, the Lord would draw me back, again and again, into places of refuge and peace in my time before Him - in worship and in prayer and in studying His Word; and He would speak of His desire for steps of concrete healing.

But still I would return to the familiar, yet excruciating, pattern of painful fear.

Eventually- through much prayer and through discussion with Brandon as He interceded for me; it was evident that there was more to this season than simply “pushing through”; and that although these types of preexisting illnesses are commonly amped up during pregnancy (thanks hormones), the Lord had also a great desire to heal me and not allow me to sit in that incredibly stifling and unhealthy place any longer.

This season was a foundational time intended for the breaking of bondage, so that when I enter into motherhood - it is not tainted by the effects of what has plagued me for so long. There were, and are, pieces of my own self that needed to be refined in order for Him to be glorified most in my raising of His daughter.

There was purpose in the pain, and preparation to happen through me allowing Him to lead me through steps of healing; rather than accepting fear as normalcy or burning myself out trying to undo it myself.

I’m not sure why our mindset so often is to simply pretend like what is broken is normal, and we have no need for God in the midst - but I was determined that I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that this pattern of living was okay; or that I was able to rectify it of my own ability or strength.

Our greatest deficiencies make apparent to us the greatness of His provision.

So, in this awareness - it was time to fight it all in the most potent way possible; by learning to surrender the entirety of the fight in His hands.

Not the kind of surrender that really is just avoidance or apathy - but the active surrender that involves petitioning Him for revelation and then partnering with His Spirit in how He leads.

He provided direction - and I followed.

At His direction, I began counseling; and, alongside that counseling, I began asking God to reveal more of His purpose in this season, as well as how I could take additional and tangible steps to allow Him to heal my mind and break these chains.

And He led me into a whole bunch of healing opportunities... some broad approaches to tackle, and many intricately tailored steps for me; specified ways of both the giving of my self to Him - and active receiving before Him.

And I began to see more of His hand in it all as I chose to not only acknowledge my need for healing (and His sole ability to provide such), but as I also determined that He was for me and not against me; and that I would listen for His voice and follow where He leads, knowing that HE alone is enough regardless of any other circumstance around me.

I determined that if all my worst fears came true; and/or if I battled this thorn in my flesh for the rest of my life - still all I need is Him.

And daily I asked Him to teach me, through the combination of counseling and techniques and passionate surrender before Him, how to feel THAT louder than all else. How to see Him glorified in my healing.

There’s a concept taught throughout scripture that has made itself immeasurably valuable in my life as of recently; and it is this -

The immutability of God.

Simply stated, this is the truth that God is unchanging.

In Malachi 3:6 God affirms, "I the Lord do not change."

Numbers 23:19, 1 Samuel 15:29, Isaiah 46:9-11, Ezekiel 24:14, and James 1:17 all speak to this same principal - and it helps me to process all of the rest of who He is when standing on the basis of that truth.

It enables me to see Him more clearly as I read scripture and look at the character and heart of God throughout all of eternity; and how that directly ties into my intimate connection with Him as well.

Recently, in my struggle, I’ve been studying in the book of Matthew and seeking to see more of Him and less of anything else.

If you read the gospels and their accounts of the life and ministry and death and resurrection of Jesus - there are many common themes of His unchanging character to be uncovered.

But in this season; He has drawn my attention (and I believe He is drawing some of yours) to the unchanging element of His heart’s desire to work healing in our lives. Foremost, spiritual healing for our sin-stricken souls. But secondary, how His heart is moved by our earthly conditions as well.

Throughout chapters 8 and 9 in Matthew specifically, there are several depictions (mirrored throughout other gospel account also) of Jesus healing the diseased, the sick, rescuing from the storm, healing from demonic possession, healing a paralytic, raising a dying girl, healing a chronic illness, restoring sight to the blind... 

Story after story we watch as He encounters people in desperate need of a healing touch both in their faith and in their bodies - and He meets them in that place of brokenness.  As He does - His Word, His touch, and His power restores their soul. We see eternal healings happen, but we also see him care for the temporary physical issues as well.

As we live in a temporary and fallen world; as we live surrounded by sinful people (and sinful still ourselves); and as we spend our days experiencing the fallout of thousands and thousands of years of humanity choosing darkness over light; ....it is inevitable that things like sickness, and spiritual blindness, and broken circumstances will find us.

And I cannot pretend to know the sovereign heart and will and mind of God - His ways and thoughts are far higher than my own. But what I do know about Him, is that His unchanging character means that from the start of time and throughout all of eternity His desire has been to pull us from the brokenness of this life and draw us into intimate restoration and redemption in Him.

He is POWERFUL. Sovereign over every single thing. And no thing stands a chance against His love and His might.

I know that there is nothing He misses, and that no thing offered up to Him in humility and faith will be ignored or untouched. He brings beauty from the worst of ashes, even in our temporary life - and His foremost desire is for us to experience His glory for eternity when this all passes away.

And here’s what I learned in Matthew as well - in Matthew 9:35-36 we see this thing that almost knocked me over.

After describing Jesus’ ministry that FIRST included preaching and teaching (revealing His character and His glory and our need, with an offer for eternal healing and redemption), He then ALSO worked more physical/emotional/mental healings and freed more people from earthy bondage than what we could ever see on these pages.

But here’s the coolest part. Verse 36 says that this Jesus, this Immanuel, GOD WITH US - it says he saw crowds of people, he saw their distress and saw them dejected, and it says He had compassion of them.

This compassion fueled His ministry of revelation and of healing - and it prompted Him to urge His disciples to pray for more people to participate in that work for His Kingdom AND for the people he felt compassion for.

That word compassion, it turns out, in the original Greek is “splagchnistheis” and it is the strongest word for pity in the Greek language. It describes a compassion which moves a man to the deepest depths of his being, AND it is not found in Classical Greek.

This word for compassion was literally coined by the gospel writers themselves because... in searching all the Greek language at the time there was no word in all of existence that could capture the level of compassion that God has as He looks at His creation and sees them dejected and in distress. 

That is the compassion that He looks on me with as He tends to my wounds - to the deepest needs of my soul, to the physical pieces of my body, and also to the processes in my mind.

It’s because of that compassion that He allows for my own frailties to come to the light in His perfect timing, to be rectified in preparation for the goodness He has in store around the corner.

In His compassion, He offers to reveal more of His character to me; teach me His ways/Word/direction; and lead me into His healing power.

But it involves acknowledgement of our need for healing; faith in Him as our only healer; consistency in our habits of devotion before Him; and a type of offering up of ourselves to Him that releases us from the seat of control and gives Him what is rightfully His - every single bit of our hearts.

Within that, we may or may not see the manifestation of the temporary healing here on earth; but we will absolutely see the eternal manifestation of it afterwards - and we will be equipped with all the strength that we need in order to not just “push through” and be “okay”..

.. but instead he led through and be refined and made whole in Him.

I’m still following His hand through the unraveling of my journey; but I’ve seen enough of His character to know that what He begins, He also finishes - and there is greater healing still to come.

If you are battling a season of need - I strongly encourage you to seek Him out; confess your need; gaze on His ability and totally grace-fueled willingness; offer yourself fully to Him; and ask for what steps He might lead you to take that are in line with the tools He has set aside for your healing since the beginning of time.

If He leads you to counseling, to resources for study, to deeper habits of stillness before Him, or to any extras or any combination of those things listed - don’t hesitate to reach out; I would love to come alongside you in determining how His healing character is longing to be displayed and glorified in you.